The term “Tradwife” refers to a woman who embraces the traditional role of man and woman in the capacity of marriage. A tradwife prioritizes her family over financial success and typically stays home with the children until they are school aged or homeschools her children.
A tradwife has the option to work or to rely on her husband for financially stability. If she chooses to work, it is done from home or in a manner that does not conflict with the needs of her family.
The picture you see above is from my wedding day. I have been with my husband for 11 years and we have been married for 6. I consider myself a tradwife as I work from home and care for my children as they have not reached school age. I hold a BSBA degree and graduated summa cum laude and yet, my family is the most important thing to me under The Most High God.
The term tradwife was coined and popularized by social media around 2016 and continues to generate revenue for wives with children on all platforms however, a storm of controversy surrounds this social media influence and lifestyle with the assumption that tradwives encourage a divide amongst mothers, discrimination of same sex marriages, anti-feminist rhetoric, and classism.
Some argue that women who choose to hold positions outside of the home and send their children to daycare are in opposition to women who choose the traditional wife lifestyle. For clarification purposes, I want to put both categories of women in the healthiest state of mind for this comparison.
Extensive research has concluded that the first 5 years of a child’s life are the most critical as their brain develops connections faster than at any other point in their life. During this time, the mother has a profound affect on her child in the categories of emotional regulation, attachment and bonding, cognitive development, social skills, and even physical health.
Children who are in nonparental/familial daycare during the totality of these critical years vs children who are cared for by their parent or close family member tend to have lower social competence, negative experiences with peer play, and higher levels of adult-child conflict despite the quality of the childcare facility, maternal education, ethnic backgrounds, family income, or the child’s gender. These trends tend to follow children into their adulthood according to the Institute for Family Studies. The truth is that it isn’t the mother who is creating the division amongst mothers but rather the verifiable facts of science and data.
The additional opposition of tradwives is the argument that it practices discrimination regarding same sex marriage. In the traditional sense (hence the name tradwife) marriage is between a man and a woman. This isn’t a point of contention but one of fact.
Anti-feminism and classism are the final arguments against the tradwife ldeology.
Feminism can easily be defined as equality between the sexes. There are a plethora of principles that can fall under this vast category but when we break down the meaning of equal that is not mathematical, we come to the definition of being similar in quality, nature, or status.
Tradwives along with science and data can conclude that the presence of the woman is equally qualitative to that of man by definition including status. The one thing we cannot have equality in is the nature of man and woman. Scientifically, religiously, physically, we are not the same as a man. Despite any advancement in technology, the complete genetic makeup of men and women can never be the same.
Classism is the final line in the sand on the attack of the tradwive lifestyle. The argument is that your average wife cannot be traditional because she has to work and this is a privilege of white non-working women.
Tradwives are not simply at home with no generative income. Sure this can be the case with some, but others, like myself, must work in order to contribute to the mortgage and expenses. The New York Times reported that college educated mothers of children under the age of 5 are in the workforce with 80% working remote at minimum once a week.
My husband and I are middle class, middle of America, full time black parents. I took a 5 dollar pay cut to work from home as a call center rep in 2020. During my tenure I was able to move up into an EDI implementation position where I continue to work from home so I can be a present force in my home and children’s life.
As you scroll through your social media platform, take note of those women who are happy to be married, happy to have children, and practice traditional matrimony in peace.
The rise of the tradwife is here to stay as women continue to find more satisfaction and fulfillment in family life than anything else under the sun.
Proverbs 31:10-31
With Love,
Mother Ocia