The sting of rejection is not one that is easily dismissed. When an opportunity arises, you begin to think of all the possibilities that could happen once it is achieved. I can make more money, I can gain more experience, I can have something incredible to add to my resume.
We often ponder not the thought that we won’t get it. We typically don’t hype ourselves up to understand that an opportunity missed can be beneficial instead of detrimental. This makes the pain of rejection that much worse and at the very least, gives power to the intrusive thoughts of inadequacy.
This week, I experienced both the pain of rejection and the peace of moving forward when I felt stopped.
Rejection and Psychology
Reject is defined as the refusal of acceptance, consideration, or taking for a purpose/use. It is no wonder that Science.org concluded the same brain responses that light up with physical pain, such as an injury, are the same responses that occur when one is rejected.
Humans are hard wired, both biologically and psychologically, to be accepted dating back to our ancestors. This is because acceptance meant survival while rejection meant death. When we don’t receive acceptance, not only is our psyche thrown into disarray, but our biology sounds off in a way that is not easily ignored. Our response systems don’t fully understand that it is just a position that we didn’t get; instead, our system receives it as a refusal of admittance into a survival group.
This can make it very tough to look to the positive side of things and fight those very heavy obsessive and unwelcome thoughts. So how do you keep moving forward when you feel stopped?
Moving Forward When You Feel Stopped
I went out for a position that was in a department above mine and offered a higher pay. Reviewing the qualifications, I matched the degree request, the time spent in my field, and I felt I had the basic understanding of what needed to take place to be successful at the job but something felt off. When I go out for new positions, I usually feel in my spirit that I am going to get it or I won’t and this time, I felt that I wasn’t.
I began weighing both the possibility and the refusal and came to a peaceful state that if my intuition was correct, and I did not obtain the position, that I would be at peace. I had a job, my husband and I have our cars paid off, our children have food to eat, and we enjoy life at our current financial state.
When I received the news that I did not get the position, the initial response was peaceful; but after a few hours, the intrusive thoughts started to flood my mind. I started to think, “You’re not good enough, you wasted time and money on your degree, you will never reach a higher pay than what you are currently making, your future is dim.”
I cried, I fought, and I won. The reality for me, as well as for you, is that we are still being taken care of by God. We have to fight those thoughts that want to take our mind, heart, and soul captive and bring us to a place of desolation and depression by speaking life, and Love, into ourselves.
We may not know why we didn’t receive something that we felt qualified for, but we also must hold onto hope that something else is for us and the goals that we desire to reach will be achieved. The thing we were rejected from was a blessing as we are free to accept what is for us when it arrives.
So how do you keep moving forward when you feel stopped? Don’t let anything stop you. Don’t allow your body systems to highjack your mind, heart, or soul because you are in control of what happens within you, and you have the power to turn those systems from “Mayday, Mayday!” to “Seelonce feenee“.
Ecclesiastes 5:19
Moreover, when God gives someone wealth and possessions, and the ability to enjoy them, to accept their lot and be happy in their toil-this is a gift of God.
Ecclesiastes 4:6
Better is a handful with tranquility than two hands full of toil and a chasing after wind.
Matthew 6:19-21
Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.
Matthew 6:31-34
So do not worry, saying, What shall we eat? or What shall we drink? or What shall we wear? For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first His Kingdom and His Righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
John 14:27
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and neither be afraid.
With Love,
Mother Ocia 